found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
