Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
