We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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