Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
