just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so let's talk penis.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
