you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
