whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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