it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize