I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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