just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
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do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
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apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.