as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.