tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My vagina is very pro this idea
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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