Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.

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(425): View more from Washington

i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back

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(607): View more from New York

I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(859): View more from Kentucky

heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge

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(847): View more from Illinois

Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.

(314): View more from Missouri

Come down off the roof.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"

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(831): View more from California

we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well

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(269): View more from Michigan

Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.

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