break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I need to stop coming to work sober
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
