he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
