At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
