OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize