im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
