What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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