Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
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