I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
