Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize