He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
