If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
