if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
