dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Even my vagina gasped.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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