i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
