i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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