Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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