I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
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So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
Cake is only good when you eat it
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
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I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks