bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
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Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch