Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously

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  (440): he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously http://tfl.nu/mrdz
  Replies (13) Good night (4369) Bad night (711)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.

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  (571): I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday. http://tfl.nu/tetw
  Replies (73) Good night (11043) Bad night (1606)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.

  (208): View more from Idaho

  ha well at least you have goals.

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  (208): Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong. (208): ha well at least you have goals. http://tfl.nu/c71p
  Replies (49) Good night (6996) Bad night (837)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack

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  (860): just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack http://tfl.nu/aa3v
  Replies (87) Good night (9032) Bad night (1050)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.

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  (763): Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub. http://tfl.nu/2fqf
  Replies (7) Good night (4449) Bad night (1070)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.

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  (610): Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole. http://tfl.nu/uyw0
  Replies (11) Good night (3714) Bad night (878)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life

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  (956): Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life http://tfl.nu/cpkm
  Replies (13) Good night (2128) Bad night (668)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually

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  (931): i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually http://tfl.nu/wdhn
  Replies (3) Good night (1031) Bad night (560)
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  (212): View more from New York

  You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.

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  (212): You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band. http://tfl.nu/ldj0
  Replies (10) Good night (2696) Bad night (600)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..

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  (919): I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number.. http://tfl.nu/y7re
  Replies (8) Good night (1229) Bad night (786)
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  (754): View more from Florida

  Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless

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  (754): Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless http://tfl.nu/pgaf
  Replies (13) Good night (1304) Bad night (744)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.

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  (+44): You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste. http://tfl.nu/s042
  Replies (3) Good night (666) Bad night (334)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet

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  (708): I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet http://tfl.nu/9ro9
  Replies (2) Good night (755) Bad night (294)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.

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  (780): lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic. http://tfl.nu/pqzx
  Replies (3) Good night (780) Bad night (280)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?

  (1-715): View more from Wisconsin

  I think that about sums it up, actually.

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  (715): I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain? (1-715): I think that about sums it up, actually. http://tfl.nu/mxnz
  Replies (10) Good night (978) Bad night (261)

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