Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't