The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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