It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Your penis caused this!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
