I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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