I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
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Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
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Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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