found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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