If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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