Texts From Last Night

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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  The worlds most fuckable chipmunk

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  (862): The worlds most fuckable chipmunk http://tfl.nu/klow
  Replies (6) Good night (944) Bad night (616) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands

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  (773): smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands http://tfl.nu/8z3t
  Replies (98) Good night (4515) Bad night (659)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung

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  (413): i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung http://tfl.nu/rtj3
  Replies (47) Good night (13352) Bad night (986) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.

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  (718): I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide. http://tfl.nu/8m3e
  Replies (6) Good night (4299) Bad night (613) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  so today I found out that she used to be a he....

  (1-931): View more from Tennessee

  are you gonna get a divorce?

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  (931): so today I found out that she used to be a he.... (1-931): are you gonna get a divorce? http://tfl.nu/5e03
  Replies (86) Good night (887) Bad night (16886) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement

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  (515): so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement http://tfl.nu/2t2h
  Replies (6) Good night (508) Bad night (3419) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.

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  (304): i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas. http://tfl.nu/zwmj
  Replies (19) Good night (3716) Bad night (1026) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.

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  (302): He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before. http://tfl.nu/latf
  Replies (13) Good night (821) Bad night (4130) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon

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  (303): Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon http://tfl.nu/wym2
  Replies (3) Good night (1831) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.

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  (845): 3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year. http://tfl.nu/9uak
  Replies (9) Good night (2603) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back

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  (847): Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back http://tfl.nu/ffo4
  Replies (6) Good night (1162) Bad night (944) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have

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  (484): But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have http://tfl.nu/07zt
  Replies (3) Good night (992) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.

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  (719): Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss. http://tfl.nu/q2y0
  Replies (14) Good night (2016) Bad night (521)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.

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  (501): I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II. http://tfl.nu/1v38
  Replies (4) Good night (924) Bad night (451) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.

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  (949): Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities. http://tfl.nu/bc5t
  Replies (14) Good night (1562) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt

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