no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
