Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She bit a glass in half.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
