oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
