you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
