he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He's on the porch naked. Help.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
