I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
