it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
