Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
