just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
