Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
