that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He called his prostate his "boner button".
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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