my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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