That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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