I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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