Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
