im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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