i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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