I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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