Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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