U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
